Let’s get something straight: the battle of the sexes has been raging for centuries, and no battlefield has seen more friendly fire than the open road. But if you thought this debate was still up for grabs, you might want to check your rear-view mirror. According to insurance data from the Department for Transport (DfT), a staggering 77% of car accidents are caused by men (DfT, 2023). That’s right, gentlemen—you’re behind the wheel, and apparently, you’re also behind the crash.

Breaking Down the Statistic

First, let’s all take a moment to appreciate that 77% is not some cute little majority. It’s not 51%, where the defenders of male pride can throw up arguments about marginal errors. This is three-quarters of all accidents, and it’s not just the fender benders that ruin your bumper and your morning—we’re talking about the big ones. The rollovers. The multi-car pileups. The “I swear I thought the light was green” specials.

But wait, there’s more! Men are also responsible for 80% of fatal crashes, according to a report by the UK’s Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents (RoSPA, 2022). This is not a stat; it’s a plot twist in a horror movie about toxic masculinity.

Women: Safer Drivers by Every Metric

Women, on the other hand, statistically cause fewer accidents, commit fewer traffic violations, and—this one’s going to sting, lads—get fewer drink-driving offences (ONS, 2023). While men are out there treating motorways like they’re auditioning for the next Fast & Furious film, women are signalling their turns, stopping for pedestrians, and wondering why the world doesn’t appreciate their ability to parallel park in one go.

Interestingly, female drivers also tend to have higher pass rates in driving tests on their first attempt. According to data from the Driver and Vehicle Standards Agency (DVSA), women have consistently shown improvement year on year, with pass rates for women nearing 50% compared to men’s 46% in recent reports (DVSA, 2023). Additionally, women are less likely to commit dangerous faults during tests, which further highlights their cautious and rule-abiding approach to driving.

Insurance companies have noticed this, too. Women consistently pay lower premiums than men. And it’s not because the insurance companies have a feminist agenda (although wouldn’t that be a delightful twist?). It’s because actuarial science doesn’t care about your feelings. It cares about cold, hard data. And the data says that if you want to keep your car intact, give the keys to your sister.

“But What About…” – The Common Male Retorts

Of course, this blog post would be complete without addressing the counterarguments. Men will say:

“But I’m a better driver under pressure!” Sure, but maybe the pressure wouldn’t exist if you hadn’t tried to merge at 130 km/h without checking your blind spot.

“Women are terrible parkers.” Okay, Dan, let’s discuss how many cars have been totalled in a car park compared to, say, on the motorway.

“I drive more, so obviously I’ll have more accidents.” Congratulations, you’ve discovered how exposure works. By this logic, a lion that keeps running into hunters should be congratulated for its enthusiasm.

The Bottom Line

Lads, it’s time to put down the ego and pick up some driving tips from your female counterparts. Maybe one day, you’ll even join them in the realm of lower insurance premiums and fewer emergency phone calls to the AA. Until then, let’s all agree that when it comes to driving, women are smashing it—and by that, I mean they’re not smashing into anyone.